


bad habits

by kathleenfergie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Cigarettes, Daily Prophet, Drabble, F/M, Oneshot, Politics, Post-Hogwarts, Super AU - So Many People Are Different and It's All Explained in the Notes :))))))), a terrible terrible dude, light angst mostly humour, things i come up with on the bus, this isn't really all that fluffy but they're in love and it's cute, voldemort's just a dude, when you're a chainsmoker you write all your fave characters as ones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 09:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12885261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathleenfergie/pseuds/kathleenfergie
Summary: "They'll kill you," he quips before extending a smoke her way, tucking the pack back into his breast pocket."And so can any bloody pureblood; I'm sure this is less effective than an Avada, Malfoy."Hermione and Draco share a smoke outside the Leaky Cauldron and Rita Skeeter's got something to say about it.





	bad habits

**Author's Note:**

> alright, to start, this is some shit that i came up with on the bus while listening to a playlist curated directly to how phil collins' "in the air tonight" makes me feel and the premise kind of makes no sense but i love AUs and i don't give a fuck.
> 
> basically, the world this takes place in is one where voldemort is minister of magic and fuckin the whole magical world over. am i drawing from reality? yes. i'm not original. dumbledore's dead, draco's a double agent for the order, and everybody is sad. if i had to place this timeline wise i'd say they are all around the age that they start having kids w/o hermione popping any out. d&h eloped it was very romantic in my head. hermione's headmistress because mcgonagall's ill. if you don't understand something, it's probably going to be explained at the end. 
> 
> this isn't really supposed to make sense, i just produced it and wanted to put it here. i'm very aware that i still need to work on my tenses, thank you. 
> 
> "the bill" is explained by the article at the end. 
> 
> 1 kudos = 5 years added to Cher's life.

Draco found himself a quiet alcove outside the Leaky Cauldron to smoke, snow fluttering down in large flakes and the wind cold enough to freeze his balls. He lit a cigarette and sent his mother a mental thanks for the gloves she'd given him at Christmas; the leather was thin but the magical warmth they provided was something Draco had to appreciate. This was his first night of freedom since the holidays began at the Manor, the first Christmas without his father alive going evidently terrible. Draco's eight month nicotine-free vigil came to an abrupt halt the second he unpacked his bags. 

Halfway through his cigarette, he heard the old doors of the Cauldron groan open, exposing him briefly to the cacophony he recently escaped. It was a shame Finnegan wouldn't let people take their drinks outside or the drifter of firewhisky he loved so dearly would be with him now. 

"Oi," he heard a familiar voice bark, glancing up with a smirk to see Hermione Granger stomping toward him through the snow. "Give me one of those, will you."

"They'll kill you," he quips before extending a smoke her way, tucking the pack back into his breast pocket. 

"And so can any bloody pureblood; I'm sure this is less effective than an _Avada_ , Malfoy." He winces at the mention of the new bill and takes a long drag, lighting Hermione's cigarette with his wand. 

"You can call me Draco, you know," he says quietly and she frowns at him, exhaling smoke into his face. He scoffs and closes his eyes, a bemused but slightly sad smile appearing through the fog.

"Not here,  _you_ know that." Hermione frowns at him and leans against the brick wall. Draco hums mockingly and flicks his butt into a snowbank, holding back every urge he has to kiss her. 

She's barely halfway through her own smoke so he grabs it out of her hand and puts it in his mouth, Hermione's sour expression causing Draco to chuckle. Before she can say anything, a flash goes off from the sidewalk next to them and Draco has to grab Hermione's arm to keep her from using the wand that quickly appeared in her hand. The paparazzi takes one more photo before scampering off into the night, Draco's long sigh following him. 

"Damn the  _Prophet_ ," he mutters and apparates them both to his apartment. She quickly rips her arm from his grip and throws her wand onto the dusty couch, growling out a string of expletives. "Hermione, love, it's just a photo."

"I know, I know!" She cries in exasperation, turning to him. "The new bill has me on edge. All the muggleborns in fucking England are in hiding and we all know I can't  _do_ that, but I _could_ do without thinking every person I see is going to kill me. Don't look guilty, we've talked about this."

She waves off his grimace and comes toward him, taking his face in her palms. 

"Just because I'm a double agent doesn't make my part in this any less worse," he tells her, closing his eyes. Hermione smooths her thumbs against his eyelids lightly and presses a small kiss to his lips. "When this is all over tell Harry I want to be the one to put a knife through Riddle's eye socket. 

"I can't promise that, but you'll get one of his limbs to hang on the mantle, surely," Hermione jokes softly. Draco has to laugh at that and opens his eyes, looking into Hermione's with a million different thoughts racing across his mind.

"How's Narcissa?" Hermione asks and he grunts, pulling her into his arms. 

"Can't we at least fuck before we talk about my mother? It's been a  _month_." Draco wiggles his eyebrows at Hermione in the way he knows she hates and goes in for a kiss. Hermione promptly raspberries his face and thumps a fist against his chest. "She's fine, but nostalgic and lonely without father."

"I don't return to Hogwarts until Thursday, there's plenty of time for that. This place is covered in dust, anyway, wouldn't you rather be in our own bed?" She _hmmms_  at him and sways their bodies, smiling genuinely. "I hope she liked the gifts, even if I can't say they're from me. 

"She did," he tells her softly. "And not with Harry's little ones running around Grimmauld Place tonight; Albus has figured out how to unlock doors and he's only a toddler. I'd rather not scar them this early."

"I guess that's fair," Hermione replies, unwrapping herself from her husband and starting toward the kitchen. 

Draco looks around his derelict apartment and pulls out his wand, flicking it in the direction of his broom cupboard. A number of charmed cleaning instruments danced their way out into the living room, Draco moving to take off his coat and boots. 

"Are you making tea, love?" He calls to Hermione, whose response is sling-shotting her bra at his face. He starts, fumbling for the undergarment wrapped around his head and finds her standing in the doorway of the bedroom fully naked. "Tea can  _wait_."

* * *

**_DRACO MALFOY'S BAD HABITS_ ** _by Rita Skeeter_

_"It seems as though young Mister Malfoy, a key supporter of Minister Riddle's and Head Detective with the MLE, has picked up more than one bad habit recently._ _Saturday evening he was spotted outside the Leaky Cauldron sharing a cigarette with Hermione Granger, Acting Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_The Christmas holidays have obviously given Miss Granger time to socialize, despite many muggleborns keeping to themselves since the passing of the Muggleborn Abolition Bill, which allows any pureblood to legally kill or maim muggleborns. Miss Granger is also rumoured to be one of the main members of the Order of the Phoenix, an anonymous society that aims to bring down Minister Riddle and his policies. Since the demise of Albus Dumbledore, it's said that Harry Potter stepped up to the role as leader of the OOTP with Miss Granger and Ronald Weasley as his companions._

_While there is no proof to any of these claims, it is surprising to see two key figures in this political war amicably spending time together. Could there be romance in store for the Headmistress and Detective Malfoy, or has one of them defected to the other side? See an in-depth analysis of their interaction and body language on page ten."_

Draco attempted not to groan too loudly, fearing that he would wake Hermione, who was dozing next to him. It was in vain, however, as one hand emerges from under the pillows to move a mountain of curls from her face. She opens her eyes to see Draco holding the Prophet and snorts.

"What did Rita write about us on this fine Monday morning?" She yawns, sarcasm and cotton mouth obvious. Hermione was not a morning person. 

"The usual when it comes to politics but she's wondering if we're shagging or crossing over to the _other side_." Draco rolls his eyes and flashes the photo of them together in front of Hermione's face before tossing the whole paper toward the hearth. It was a blessing and a curse to have a fireplace in every room; Grimmauld Place was colder than the potions labs but anybody could floo call you whenever they damn well pleased.

"She's going to have a field day when she finds out we're living together," Hermione laughs as she yawns, sitting up and placing a kiss on Draco's shoulder. 

"Skeeter's not the only one," he grumbles before grabbing Hermione's waist and rolling her on top of him. "C'mon, let's have as long of a lie in as we can before Weasley starts stomping about."

"Which one?" Hermione asks, her question muffled by Draco's chest. 

" _All_ of them."

_fin._


End file.
